BETWEEN CLICKS AND CONSEQUENCES

I'm avoiding the news like the devil avoids the cross. I realized some time ago how these headlines affect me. Especially because journalism tends to exaggerate, endlessly repeating tragedies, creating an almost inevitable sense of negativity.

The fire in Los Angeles, for example, was devastating. But perhaps even more devastating is watching the repeated footage of people crying in front of the cameras, showing the loss of their homes and memories. The pain is palpable, but repetition turns tragedy into spectacle. I do not diminish the suffering of these people. I imagine myself in front of the TV, watching my home consumed by flames—it must be an unbearable pain!

I still remember a flood in Brazil. A man stood with water up to his waist, looking at his nearly submerged house. A journalist approached him, microphone in hand, and asked, "How do you feel seeing your house like this?" The man’s gaze and silence were more eloquent than any words could ever be. That scene stayed with me.

I am exhausted by sensationalism. This also applies to illnesses. The diseases of public figures are exploited by the media, exposing their human fragility; capitalizing on someone else's suffering to capture an audience’s attention is an abuse of the trust we place in journalism. While humanizing celebrities can make them more relatable, using their struggles to sell a drama is so exploitative!

And we, as consumers, are part of this cycle—and I am one of them. There will always be those who buy the cream that promises instant rejuvenation. "Before and after" photos, excessively manipulated, feed illusions that sustain an industry of false hopes.

But resistance is possible. Choosing not to engage with sensationalist content is a small gesture that, over time, can lead to meaningful change.

Choosing respect over spectacle. Maybe, in time, the silence of those who reject this cycle will speak louder than the voices that exploit not only human pain but also the appeal of consumerism.

In this year of 2025, I am seriously rethinking my clicks.

Notes That Silence Holds

 I had never paid attention to how important a soundtrack can be. The other day, while watching a movie, I couldn’t focus because of the “noise” from its soundtrack. It was completely mismatched with the film. You know when you’re watching, and suddenly, a dark scene comes with an almost funereal tune? Or when the scene is joyful, and the soundtrack follows the feeling? But in that movie, the music was always incredibly loud—louder than the dialogue and totally out of sync with the scenes. It was as if the excess sound was stealing the story.

After that, making an analogy, I started thinking about the movie of our lives. So often, we crave peace, yet we’re surrounded by noise or exhausting relationships, when the defining moments of our journey bring their own music—one we can barely hear.

And isn’t silence a precious pause? Every human being needs it to absorb life’s notes, to organize the melody the heart insists on playing. But when the soundtrack is too loud, the dialogues become inaudible. Life is the same way: the distractions of social media, the noise of the media, our phones, this frantic pace of modern days can drown out our inner voice and disconnect us from who we truly are.

In life’s melody, it’s the little things that guide our emotions: the laughter of a loved one, a warm cup of coffee, an unexpected hug, freshly baked bread (isn’t it, DiLucas?), a child’s spontaneity, the good news from a dear friend, a child’s achievement, a medical test overcome, a renewed hope. Everything has its right music.

Without a doubt, every choice we make, every silence we respect, every noise we embrace gradually composes the music of our soul.

That’s why, at the beginning of the year, I decided to adjust my “soundtrack” and carefully choose the sounds I want around me. I want the music of my life not to be imposed by the world’s noise but conducted by the harmony of what truly matters. Because, in the end, we are nothing more than the song we leave in the air—a subtle echo, wandering through the notes of time, dancing among memories, and persisting even after the silence.

THE LAST SMILE: BETWEEN LIFE AND SILENCE

Living here in the U.S. for 36 years, this week I had my first experience visiting a hospice. Do you know what a hospice is here in the U.S.? It’s a facility that cares for terminally ill patients. When there is no longer any hope for a cure, patients go to this place, where specialized nurses provide end-of-life care. The person I went to visit worked with me for ten years, and when I left the company in 2004, I never saw him again. Recently, I found out that he was battling an aggressive cancer and had decided to stop treatment. He had been undergoing treatment for many years, but now the disease had spread to both lungs. What a heartbreaking situation!

I parked my car in front of the hospice and took a moment to prepare myself before going in. All I wanted was to bring a little joy, a little energy, to my friend. I took a deep breath. I said a prayer. Dennis had always been a cheerful, funny, strong, and determined person, working with so much energy! I entered that place with my heart in my hands, knowing it would be a difficult task. But there are moments in life when we must be strong and focus on giving that “something extra” to those who need it.

I walked into the dimly lit room, and there he was, sitting on the bed, bald from countless chemotherapy sessions, yet wearing the same smile. In the silence of that room, I realized that presence speaks louder than words. There are moments when a simple touch of the hand means more than a thousand words.  

I held his hand, and we reminisced about old times, laughing at memories from the past. As he spoke, I looked at him, unable to believe that the man before me was the same Dennis I had known. What illness does to people! But time can change everything, but it does not erase the essence of who we are.

Between laughter and memories, we tried to trick time, but it follows its relentless course. Life is fragile, and every moment we live is a gift that should not be wasted.

I kept holding his hand, listening to his stories, laughing with him, while at the same time looking at his face and thinking, “Soon, he won’t be here.” What a painful thought! Before I left, I kissed his face, fixing his last expression in my memory. He seemed peaceful, as if he knew his time here was coming to an end. Sixty-two years old, full of life, with a wife, children, and grandchildren. And now, saying goodbye to life.

Life is a road filled with many farewells—some expected, others that take us by surprise.In the coming days, his passing is expected. I left feeling so small in relation to the world and everything in it. I kept thinking about how insignificant we are. I sat in my car and reflected on my own life—but at the same time, I felt grateful for having gone and for giving him a few moments of joy and remembrance.

I left that place carrying a mix of sadness and gratitude in my heart—sadness for the farewell, gratitude for the reunion.Goodbyes remind us of the value of simple moments, the ones that often go unnoticed. Like when I held his hand in silence, and his gaze said it all.Perhaps it is in that silence that the true music of life hides—the one that, because it cannot be heard, can only be felt in the heart of those who know how to listen.May our journey be filled with gestures that make a difference in someone’s life. I know that encounters like this make us reflect deeply on our own path. And I did reflect.

May God welcome him with love and kindness, in gratitude for all he did here.

See you someday, Dennis!

THE PERFECT MOMENT

End of Sunday. A light rain that doesn’t stop and nature is simply wonderful, with its autumn colors! I decided to go for a drive and see all this beauty. It’s impossible to describe the painting of God’s hand on each leaf. Sometimes, just looking at it, I feel like crying. Pure emotion when thinking how everything can be so perfect!

The streets are emptier due to the weather. Many people are at the mall, or taking a look at the Thanksgiving offers. Here, everything is like that. Everything is decorated according to the holiday. So, we see tablecloths with pumpkin figures, or other decorations, all in the brownish-yellow tone of the leaves.

At the beginning of my life here, all of this enchanted me a lot. Today it has become more routine. I prefer to drive, stop, take pictures than to go into stores. Enjoy the silence, listening to music and looking at the landscape.

Yesterday I found a CD that my daughter recorded and gave me as a gift on Easter many years ago. I no longer remembered which songs she had recorded, but I remember that I chose them, and took the CD with me on my walk.

Suddenly, I was near Swaim Park, that light rain, looking at that beautiful nature; I stopped my car, but couldn’t get out because of the rain. And “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong starts playing, one of the songs I had chosen.

Have you ever thought of a perfect moment? That was it. Me, looking at that beauty, a beautiful mix of colors, the leaves forming carpets on the ground, and that music playing. It was a Kodak moment, as they say, worthy of a photo. But that photo should have been taken from inside me, from my heart, to photograph at that moment the great feeling of love and gratitude that invaded me.

End of Sunday and I also remembered the time when I worked in Brazil, and at night the little tune of Fantástico preparing us for the next day when life began again. How I like this beginning! As Aristotle said, Monday can be seen not only as a moment to seek balance between work and leisure but also to cultivate virtues such as courage and patience.

On the way back, stopping in front of the house, I spent a few minutes in the car thinking that life is a journey of ups and downs, but it is in perfect moments that we find the true beauty of existence.

Cheers!             

*Mary Fioratti*

OUR EYES

our eyes speak
in pure silence
full of words
guessing the thoughts
assuming moments
stripping themselves naked of fear

our eyes save
so many unforgettable moments
recorded in the retina
stamped on the soul
perpetuated in the joys
of a daily routine

our eyes are twins
in intuition, in feeling
in capturing the right moment
in caring for each other
in sensing danger
in the joy of reunion

our eyes can see
each other even at a distance
they are so transparent and true
that even closed , by sensing the soul
they are tireless guardians
of our love

Mary Fioratti


(This poem is dedicated to my husband)

SIAMESE

these eyes that follow me on all my journeys
with an endless care
and never loses sight of a single stir
I make

these extended hands
so solicitous
surround and protect me
rubbing ointment on my wounds
and tenderly…caress me

this voice, so rhythmic
that calms me in time of distress
that sings me serenity
that rocks me to sleep
and silences when I need

and in the crowd
when thousands of people surround me
I still can see your eyes
between the small available spaces
caring for my steps

you are my shadow
my most sincere and declared love
my all time care
and, in the morning when I kiss you and you leave
our souls go to their separate destiny

(but as conjoined twins
connected like an imaginary wire
of pure certainty)

Mary Fioratti

WISDOM OF LIFE

(An encounter with the soul)

Today I was thinking about the coincidences of life. These coincidences that God is laughing behind out backs because “we believe they are coincidences”.

A person we encounter in our path. A new job. A situation that is not expected. Even defeat in something the brings us a lesson we will understand later.

Everything that happens in our life has a purpose. God often shows life in a different way, not always in the most attractive one.

Have you ever notice that many times, when we are thinking of someone and that person call us? Or we meet her in the street? Or she write to us?

God mysteriously draws our path…and through these paths give us wonderful lessons, we’ll only understand afterwards.

I’m beginning to understand better life’s mystery. I have always worried excessively about everything: my daughter’s education, job, family, my friends. I thought I had control of everything, and only I could make the world happy. And when this didn’t happen, I suffered a lot and even blamed myself.
“I could have done this…”Ah! If I had said that…!”

Time has taught me so much! The years are adding up and, with it, we seek constantly for an inner truth that is always there, but not awaken. We want food for the soul. We want to pass all those lessons.

I realize now, with so much depth and confidence, that all of us in this life are in a boat. This boat is commanded by a Higher Hand. And we have to believe!

We must rely on this boat as it maneuvers. In the Grater Hand that stretches toward us when we need It. We often don’t understand when a job doesn’t work, or why that trip didn’t happen. We don’t realize why a business deal didn’t work, and we get frustrated.

However, God’s Hands guide and direct our lives according to what we need to learn, and this learning is endless. The lesson are presented daily in our life when we have to deal with people, to train our humility.

Today I feel this gradual change, a great confidence in myself. A sureness that nothing in this world can be changed according to our desire. That I do not have the power to control everything.

Through lesson we receive each day, we have to become better, and more confident.

We must love our lives above all. To notice the little things that are drawn in our lives. To feel the world in a unique way, as if today is the last day of our life.

I remember well when I was in a car accident in 1971. It was an accident that left a scar in my forehead, but I could have died that day. It was after a ball. I was sitting in the front seat and with the impact I went through the windshield and end up on top of the car in front. After that accident, I remember when I was in the streets and felt a great happiness to be alive and to be able to see and feel everything…

I am a person who loves to feel life, but mainly, I’m going to tell you some things that I have felt:

There are children in the USA that, at summertime, place a small table on the sidewalk, in front of their houses and sell lemonade. For them, if someone stops to buy a glass, it’s the “highlight” of their day. I always stop to buy and have fun with their behavior. I slow down the car and watch one child elbowing the other, as if to say: “Let’s do business!”..so, I ask for a glass…and drink slowly…and they look at each other…they charge 10, 20 or 25 cents. So I take a sip and say: “Wow, that’s worth much more than those nickels you are charging!” I give two dollars and say: “Keep the change”. They run into the house screaming: “Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”… and I laugh….



-There is a little truck selling ice cream going through the streets playing a little music…




I love watching the children’s faces when they come running out of their houses, attracted by the music, with cash in their hands, wearing a happy expression on their young faces.

-an old man smile…



In his smile, so many meanings. Every wrinkly on his face, a story. I read a lesson in that smile, so as pass me a message: “Hey…come here…I’ll tell you a story - Life is worth it”.

When overnight a flower blooms and come to show us that life recycles. That today may not be what you hopped for, but tomorrow will always bring a surprise.




Sometimes we feel this way: closed as a flower bud.

And the next day, blossoming and opened to life. Like bright red roses.

Isn’t life beautiful? I learned that everything in life passes. When we go through a bad time, we must remember that it will pass, like so many things we went through and became only memories.

Over time we realize how important is to nourish our soul. And this blossoming means to face weaknesses and learn from them.

While fighting against ageing, noticing the changes in our body, face (because age doesn’t forgive) we notice also that, what becomes stronger is our inner truth. Those truths, over time become the strong structure of our being, and at one point, seems indestructible. They are fed with by our strength. Settle in our faith.

Learn, always learn from all the little lessons we have daily. To enrich ourselves with wisdom, mainly from those who have an undeniable baggage of knowledge.
I was finishing this post when I received, from a special friend, this thought. I found it very beautiful and profound and I think it has a lot to do the way I feel. Tony Snow was a journalist from Channel 3 (FOX). He was press secretary for President George W. Bush. He retired he got sick and died 3 years ago. A great loss, a brilliant man.

“The art of being sick is not the same as the art of getting well. Some cancer patients recover; some don’t. But the ordeal of facing your mortality and feeling your frailty sharpens your perspective about life. You appreciate little things more ferociously. You grasp the mystical power of love. You feel the gravitational pull of faith. And you realize you have received a unique gist – a field of vision other’s don’t have about the power of hope and the limits of fear; a firm set of convictions about what really matters and what does not. You also feel obliged to share these insights – the most important of which is this: There are things far worse than illness – for instance, soulnessness.”


Mary Fioratti

A TENDERNESS CALLED LARRY KINLEY

Those who knew Larry Kinley can consider themselves lucky.
We came to Cincinnati in 1994 and, seeking a church to worship, we stopped one day at the Good Shepherd Church to attend Mass. When the Mass began this man walked in and it seems he had a light over his head.

When he started singing the first song left us hypnotized. His gentle voice, soft silken and full of expression took over the whole environment. That day we were sure we had found our church. And so, every Sunday we came to see him and were delighted with his voice. It was a special and unique voice that resonated in every corner of the church and also in my soul. I bet it echoed in many souls.

Larry was illuminated. There was something in him that turned everything into half magic. One day, after the Mass, I went up on stage and asked whether he had any CDs I could buy.

He gave me the name of a person who was selling them and I bought them all. Never got tired of listening to them at home. Our Sunday, during lunch, we had his CD playing in the background. That voice used to bring so much peace and gentleness to our day.

I used to buy also his CDs to take as a gift to my family and friends in Brazil.



And that way, our friendship began. Every Sunday for me to go to that Church was a twofold prayer: praying and listening to Larry.

He was part of our Sunday and part of our lives.



At that time our daughter Patricia was 5. We sat in the front pew, my husband, I and her, and he always smiled at us and waved to her. He had a special affection for us and we had the same affection for him. And not only for us, but for everyone who talked to him. He always had a hug, a smile, a friendly gesture.

Larry was a person who saw each one as an individual. How to explain? We watched people arriving (sometimes we were in line to be able to give him a hug) and heard that, for each person he asked something personal. He knew the names of their children. Details that only he knew and could say and ask. He was so personable.

He had such a sweetness in his voice. God gave him the “gift” of voice, even to speak. His smile, ah! his smile. Everything about him was special.

An extremely sweet and gentleman man. A charmed sweetness. A touching and extreme humbleness. With all that power in his voice, he had great humility.

At church, sometimes we noticed how many people he waved to. Or even went to talk to him. At Mass, when was time to wish “peace”, he always waved at us. Or a blown kiss. Or he made a hand sign Peace with his beautiful hands.



His hands, so tender and full of love to give. So warm and so gentle.

He was adored by children. He had a special way to entertain them. His funny questions, the way he looked and smiled at them.

It was this way with our daughter, watching her grow up. Always giving an advice, saying nice and loving words.

There are people that pass through our lives and make a deep mark, marks of fire. Larry was one of them.

At Easter, hearing the song: “They Could Not”, sung by him, thrilled everyone. I would not miss this Mass for anything. He was always elegant in his suit, and when he began to sing, the whole church came to a deafening silence. We couldn’t hear a breath from anyone.

It seemed that Jesus was just sitting there, listening to him. And he got himself thrilled also! As he sang , we could see his eyes filled with tears, the expression of his hands and his body. He was all emotion.

I remember how worried he was to sing this song after his heart surgery. And, when he was able to sing it, (and so perfect!) he felt twice victorious. The whole church cheered him up.

Larry was an artist. A complete artist. Voice and soul. A fantastic human being.

One in a million.

Last year when he had a spot of cancer in his lung he said to me: “I’ll be fine, and next year I’ll be singing “They Could Not””. I hugged him.

And he did it! Wonderfully well as in every year. Sometimes I could even see Jesus at his side, in the form of a light over his head. He seemed to shine.

And that’s the way I see him now. When I think of him my tears are of love and longing. As are the tears of my family.

Larry was known to all my family and friends in Brazil.

Our dear Larry died in his sleep, the kind of death few deserve. He deserved it. Died softly as he was. A sweet person.

Rest in Peace my friend.
I know, and know well, that he is very close to Jesus. Singing with the Angels

My family and my love for you will be eternal.

Sleep with God, in that cloud that you are, fluffy and soft, among Angels.
We love you Larry!
We’ll see you someday. Then I will give you that same hug. And a kiss.

Mary Fioratti

IF YOU READ THIS POST, AND YOU HAVE ANY MEMORY OF LARRY TO SHARE, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENT. I WILL TREASURE!

Click on the site below to hear Larry singing:

I WANT JESUS TO WALK WITH ME

click on all pictures to enlarge


GRAB A CHAIR, LET'S TALK

Everyday we are faced with thousands of thoughts . We wake up with ideas already formed, and often we get up already knowing what we are going to do. We wake up already thinking, thinking…
Walking from bed to shower, or even from the shower until we leave the house, how many thoughts run through our head! Thoughts of work, family, personal, feelings of love, longing, joy or sorrow, all in a lightening minute.

The other day I was reading an article that said humans have approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, and that 48% of those thoughts are negative. I was impressed with it, and how this can affect our day to day.
Nobody is perfect, I know. Often it’s difficult to avoid negative thoughts before a situation. But the more you think negatively, the more we’ll have bad influence in our own thoughts and things will become worse than they really are.



On my nightstand I have a little calendar from the cult Seicho-no-Ie, given to me by my sister. There is a good thought and positive phrase to be read everyday. When I awake, I turn to my little calendar, sometimes still half asleep, and I read the daily message. It’s very important to put good thoughts inside of us.
Everyday, when I’m going to brush my teeth I smile at the mirror. It’s a habit I’ve had all my life. Even when I wake up not feeling well, or with a headache, or discouraged, or bored with something, I smile at the mirror. It’s amazing how a simple gesture like this can makes us feel better. A smile, as well as a simple thought , has a great impact in our mind and body.



And to notice how our body responds to our thoughts, the same way its responds to our emotions.
I’ve also read something interesting that said: “Think of something you love. How do you feel? Now think of something you hate. Next , think again what you love. How do you feel? Your whole body feels the changes depending on what you’re thinking”.

We often see people who think negatively all the time. You certainly have a friend that have negative thoughts all the time, or a person with whom you work, who always thinks negatively. Have you noticed that almost everything in that person’s life is complicated?
It’s as if there were maze of thoughts and situations inside of her. And she doesn’t know how to untie it.

There was a person with whom I worked here that was this way. He always arrived complaining of the traffic, the weather, work, phone calls, wages, wife and his children. When I saw Joe, I know I had to have an “extra positive vibration” to greet him. He was always somewhat a bit annoyed with my joy. Like he was asking himself “why are you so happy”?

I’m grateful, very grateful with all the things God gave me. In these years of my life, (that are not few) I went through difficult situations, very difficult…. But I always tried to have in front of me a picture with a beautiful landscape. I always have had in my car a CD with my favorite songs. A book on my bedside table. Flowers on in my vase. A canary to be dedicated to. A neighbor to talk to. A friend to call or write to. A hug to give (or to ask for).



And Jesus in my car, on the seat besides me. It’s true. I arrive in 10 minutes to my morning work because it’s so close to home. In these 10 minutes I put Jesus on my side, and talk to Him. Thanking Him, telling Him the news, and sometimes even getting irritated with Him (LOL). I quarrel and say: “Look Jesus, it’s not working”!.

In all the difficult moments I went through I tried very hard to not let negative thoughts dominate me.

I remember a book I read: “Pollyanna” by Eleanor H. Porter. This book tells a story about a young girl who, after the death of her parents went to live with her aunt. Pollyanna is not an ordinary child, she is an “extraordinary” child, with a bewildering joy of living!
She radically changes the lives of an entire city.

I always identify myself with the joy of that character. I have great zest for life, and my love for life supersedes any suffering. The certainty that God is always with me wherever I go, helps me deal with everything.

Sometimes I have negative thoughts, of course. But I brushed them away quickly, doing something that I like, or concentrating in something positive.
I always try to say what I feel. When one speaks from the heart, it’s difficult to do anything wrong.

As Pollyanna, I take THE BEST OF LIFE, the suite juice of all the moments, that I keep carefully within me, as a sacred safe. The sad moments I try not to remember and only leave them buried in the past, as a lesson to improve something in my present.



Everyday when I arrive at my job, I arrive happy. Happy to be arriving, to have a job. For being healthy, to be able to walk, see and feel.
We are in this life for a little while, so it’s best to spend this time in a positive way. The truth is that positive thoughts have positive results. Negative ones wears out terribly.

Something interesting I read and, a since then started doing also: a short diary of good thoughts. To sit for 5 minutes each day and write everything good that happened to me that day. It doesn’t need to be long, only concise. Something I like to remember. As I love to write, for me is easy (and I also like to reread).

I know it’s not easy to have good thoughts when something happens that takes us away from our axis. I remember once, on a hard rainy day, my daughter had gone out with a girlfriend. Suddenly my cell phone rang and it was her. She was screaming but the connection was dropped. And I was petrified…. And she kept saying: “An accident with my car, I’m in the highway…” and she crying screamed – and the connection dropped again. I called my husband, who is super calm and he said: “Mary, calm down, we don’t know what happened, don’t anticipate bad thoughts”.

I drove completely controlled, (I was surprised with reaction) and in the way there (?) I was praying and asking God to take me wherever she was (I didn’t even know where I was going). And I started forcing myself to have good thoughts, saying to myself: “Nothing happened, she is alright””. I slowly calm down, driving through the rain and could barely see. I was taking route after route, as if being driven (today I know it was true!). Everything was fine. And I realize how I felt triumphant for having controlled myself with good thoughts and not lost it.
Here are some thoughts that I like:

"Positive thinking may come naturally to some, but also can be learned and cultivated, change your thoughts and change your world”
Norman Vicent Peale

"True freedom is a pure interior act, as the true loneliness: we must learn to feel free even in prison, and to be alone in the crowd.”
Massimo Bontempelli

"Imagination is like an extra arm, with which you can grab things that otherwise would not be within your reach”
Sartre.

"I learned through bitter experience a supreme lesson: to control my anger and make it as a heat to be converted into energy” Our controlled anger can be a converted into a force capable of moving the world”.
Mahatma Gandhi

"The best and most beautiful things in the world can’t be seen, even touched. They must be felt with the heart”.
Hellen Keller

Besides the good words, always remember that the heart’s power is as big as the brain power. It depends of which we use most. This thought is Mary Fioratti’ s thoughts!

They say the heart beats 40 million time a year.
I believe mine beats much, much more. (so much emotion!).

And I finish with a thought that I apply everyday of my life:
"If you want to be happy tomorrow, try today.” Liang Tzu




Mary Fioratti

(Click on the picture to enlarge)



I WANT TO ALWAYS LEAVE A SMILE ON MY PATH

Life is made of so many difficult moments. Many times we think we are going through a not so easy situation. Or even questioning if we “deserve” it or not.

Sickness, unforeseen situations, either at the job or at home, or in the streets. Situations with people that betray us, with ungrateful offspring, with someone we thought were our friend…..

What is life if not a Great Learning?

So many times we repeat “I don’t deserve it…” Of course we deserve it. God puts situations in our hands so we can learn to deal with them. So many times they are difficult, and appear to be “almost impossible” , but we circumvent until we are able to overcome it.

Is there any better sensation in the whole world than to overcome a problem? To feel that we grew and learned? We feel superior and capable.

As a teenager, I was a girl with so many fears. My fears were so big it dominated me, absolutely. A fear I had since childhood: to be separated from my mother. If I was in the street with her, and didn’t see her for one second, I panicked. And this panic followed me in life, in relation to my husband and my daughter. Or…if someone was late and didn’t arrive on the predicted time, I started feeling that panic inside me, like something terrible happened.

How are those thoughts built inside of us? Simple facts that leave us completely out of balance?

Time, patiently teach us to overcome traumas, things we brought from our childhood. I don’t believe it’s our parents, or some one else’s fault. But our own fault, the way we were shapped, the involvement we have with others, and the fight with our “ghosts”…
Everyone is different.

Many times we think we are not capable to withstand pain. And we observe and learn to deal and overcome it.

Do you know how to solve this equation?: 1/3 + 3/4 + 4/6 = ?

So we need to find a common denominator, to know the rules for adding, division, multiplication to solve find the answer to the equation.

Our life is this way. Day by day we learn to grow. At the grocery store, or at the doctor’s waiting room, at a traffic crossing, meeting a neighbor or a child. God is walking by and placing equations in front of us to solve, like tests in school…

Do you still remember the satisfaction in solving a math problem? To reach a conclusion that was just like the teacher’s answer?

Or the happiness of had done well in a test?

That’s the way we feel in “life’s equations”. And the “common denominator” has to be the good sense. Why wanting to win all the time? Why not accept the loss and live with it?

So many times winning doesn’t bring as much satisfaction as loosing. Because through loosing we reach our inner most self. We feel stricken, sad, but suddenly we surface from the bottom, knowing a lot of things that we didn't know before.

The satisfaction may not be quick to come, but it will come with time.
After the crises, clarification will come and we’ll understand everything so well, like it was written right in front of us.

Things we think we “don’t deserve”, in truth, the merit make us find it. So we can grow spiritually.

When God takes away from our paths things that we assume are indispensable, He is showing us that we need to work to understand what is really dispensable.

I know that, with all of this, I appear to be a conformist. But I’m not. I’m always searching to understand all the messages God send us. To read through the facts. And sometimes I rebel also. But I always end up learning.

I’ve been asked before: “Are you always this happy?”. No, I’m not always happy. I try to convey to people the best of myself, and of everything I see. But, yes, I do have my sad and thouthful days. I have my deceptions and insecurities.
And I try to work hard on it.

And the essential is “the way” you deal with it.

And fore mostly, I learned something, that for me, is my motto:

"Leave a sign of joy where you pass" (Chico Xavier)



That’s the way I am and I try to always leave a smile…

(Besides, have you ever seen me serious in any picture?)


Mary Fioratti

SMILE YOU ARE BEING FILMED

When the plane is about to land I feel that “thing” inside of my heart. I can see the sun through the small and limited peephole near my seat. I follow the landing with emotion!



I can’t explain…my heart beats fast…something warms my soul right now.

Getting off the plane and gliding down the aisle and hearing: “Welcome to Brasil”, something agitates inside of me, a desire to smile nonstop.

I got in the Brazilian Only check line, proud to be in that queue. I show my passport and I’m motioned to go. That gives me the right to step in my Country’s soil. Blessed passport! I look for my bags, bumping into people and even saying “sorry” instead of “desculpa”.

The greatest happiness is, after going through Custumes, to go to the first bar to get a Guarana. I can’t relinquish this! I sip slowly this taste of Brazil. It goes down my throat, this familiar taste of my childhood, family and friends.

This time I’ve discovered that there is a bus that leaves Guarulhos airport directly to Sao Jose dos Campos. No one was waiting for me. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming, but my two siblings. I handed my bags to the driver and was about to get in the bus when he asked: “Lady, can you please write your name in the ticket”? This was new to me. I did it, got in the bus and to my seat.

From the window I kept savoring the landscape, every bit of it. So many memories from Sao Paulo, streets, sky that has a beauty you can’t compare, I don’t know but the Brazilian motion is different. A hubbub…a different buzz. An energy that rises like a little smoke.

I rest my head on the seat staring melancholic out the window. A mix of joy and sadness. Sadness to live away from my country…joy to be back.

The bus stopped to pickup passengers. Everyone that got in had something different to say to the driver and this made me think and compare how different things are here from the United States. Formality reigns in the States where in Brazil prevails a spontaneity that captivates me.
- “Sir, thanks for stopping! I thought I would never get a bus today.”
- “Good morning and thank you. What time we arrive in Sao Jose”?
- “Would you please stop quickly at Frango Assado”?
I closed my eyes concentrating in that language so familiar to me. There I was just like everyone in the bus. Nothing different from them. Same communion of feelings.

And the bus went through that so known landscape. Parts that I’ve never forgoten, was running through my head like an old movie.
Frango Assado and it’s delicious bread.

Kodak on the right. Johnson&Johnson on the left. Restaurante da Gruta and those divine salami and melted cheese sandwiches.

I stepped in my sister’s house and right away changed to my jeans and t-shirts. Barefoot reached into my bag for my flip-flops. There! The world could end because I was already happy.

And the days went by cheerful, soft, sunny.

The family gathers for a Sunday lunch. Hugs, joy, guitar music, singing, happiness.





Laughter, conversations, hugging and a delicious meal prepared by my dear Mada!







A lunch filled with warmth, genuine laughter and yearning.

Next day I left early morning for a walk down the street. What a pleasure walking on the sidewalk feeling the warm sun. Cars passing by, horns… the corner bakery, where I bought soda water. Went back to walk breathing all that energy.

Every day I was there, I tried all kinds of food from places that sell them by the weight. I can’t say which one was the best.



I ate “coxinha”…. too many times to remember.



Went to a farmers market, killing the nostalgia of that sight of stalls full of fruits.





Meeting my mother’s side family in Marilia city, where I was born.

(click on the pictures to enlarge)






Meeting my friends, the hugs, the emotion!





Such is my Brazil, full of energy at every corner. Can’t help but notice the rhythms of the Brazilian heart, because it beats hard. Stop! On the streets people mingle, the joy is contagious.

My Brazil, how I love you, with all the letters!

After I returned to the US, I became depressed for two weeks. I missed the streets, sidewalks, that blue sky, the heat in the streets, the freedom. The bodies seems to move in rhythm, there is no barrier. When I talk to people, the language comes from my heart to my mouth. I don’t need to think. Only to talk. Just let that magnetic wave to invade me.

I hug the street with my eyes, wrap all that green in my soul.
The agony inside of me knowing that my world is divided, and I’ll never be the same again.

But you, my Brazil, will always thrill me. In soccer, or carnival. Or in cyber cafés, in food, at the malls full of life. At the sidewalks, in the bus…tasting the most delicious coffee in the world, attesting life at every corner.

In the gaze, in the smile. In a hug.



Smile, you’re being filmed. You are in Brazil!




Mary Fioratti

SENSATIONS

There was a silence
that cut the night
in a soft melody of goodbye
magnetized bodies
seeking only
the longing for pleasure

There was a kiss
wet, half-broken
that rubbed on the lips
the uncontrollable fear
in the acid saliva
hiding the senses

There was a word
hanging in the air
between parted lips
and the surprised expression
between the delirium of nothing
in the connected sweaty hands

There was desperation
in mismatched gestures
in the eagerness of search
shattering truths
naked bodies in bed
depleted of emotions

There was a semblance of hope
in that sideway smile
that expression of love
forgotten in the face
that appeared by chance
in the dark room


Mary Fioratti

THE REASON AND THE HEART

This morning
when the silence wraps me
I seek rational answers for this feeling….
and I think why reasoning
if in the silence of the night
we only hear our hearts?
you leave and I hug your absence
your body tepid with desire like mine
At this moment
I want to forget the anguish
and make you understand only
that the moment our lifes crossed
something happened
it doesn’t matter the differences
while the mind thinks
the body feels
do not put your thoughts
on a clipboard
do not delay in life’s equations
adding or subtracting
our differences
do not be lost studying
our bodies biology
when the chemistry
surpass any argument
dive today in this intense feeling
of trembling bodies
and stuttering emotion
be aware of this joyous moment
when the heart beats
oh! What love is this? that thumps in my ears
with its whispers
and brings this desire so big
of making you happy
now lay your head on my shoulders
free your dreams
leave your heart in my arms
if our paths crossed
if our eyes met at this so far
it’s because
there was a reason


Mary Fioratti

WHEN I THINK OF YOU

When I think of you
I feel like a mild chill
making a pathway
on my back
and comes to die
on the smile of my lips
my eyes become serene
as if staring at a cloud
hanging in the sky
it seems I see you coming smiling
with open arms and right steps
taking me in your arms
kissing my mouth
looking at me without promises
When I think of you
stars fall as soft rain
on the sidewalk of my heart
Then the sun comes out
and shines almost golden
behind that enchanted mountain
where my loneliness lives
there is an intertwine of fingers
touches of caresses
and mischievous kisses
of bodies seeking sensations
When I think of you
my soul starts singing softly
And I get this look
this ethereal expression
of someone who forgot everything
and only remembers to dream

Mary Fioratti

DISGUISE

tear that insists in
balancing on the eyes
and stunts
back to its origin
and when the throat
swallows dry
and the heart
is pained in a spasm
it comes back
flooding the iris
and stays strongly secure
priceless and absolute
to the world’s invisible eye
tear that insists
to be shown
emotion reluctant
to be exposed
words almost written
but deleted
and the tear
persists flickering
insecure
painful
waiting
.
.
.
for the pain to go away
but in an innocent oversight
stumbles in my sobs
and rolls
down in my face




Mary Fioratti