I WANT TO ALWAYS LEAVE A SMILE ON MY PATH
Life is made of so many difficult moments. Many times we think we are going through a not so easy situation. Or even questioning if we “deserve” it or not.
Sickness, unforeseen situations, either at the job or at home, or in the streets. Situations with people that betray us, with ungrateful offspring, with someone we thought were our friend…..
What is life if not a Great Learning?
So many times we repeat “I don’t deserve it…” Of course we deserve it. God puts situations in our hands so we can learn to deal with them. So many times they are difficult, and appear to be “almost impossible” , but we circumvent until we are able to overcome it.
Is there any better sensation in the whole world than to overcome a problem? To feel that we grew and learned? We feel superior and capable.
As a teenager, I was a girl with so many fears. My fears were so big it dominated me, absolutely. A fear I had since childhood: to be separated from my mother. If I was in the street with her, and didn’t see her for one second, I panicked. And this panic followed me in life, in relation to my husband and my daughter. Or…if someone was late and didn’t arrive on the predicted time, I started feeling that panic inside me, like something terrible happened.
How are those thoughts built inside of us? Simple facts that leave us completely out of balance?
Time, patiently teach us to overcome traumas, things we brought from our childhood. I don’t believe it’s our parents, or some one else’s fault. But our own fault, the way we were shapped, the involvement we have with others, and the fight with our “ghosts”…
Everyone is different.
Many times we think we are not capable to withstand pain. And we observe and learn to deal and overcome it.
Do you know how to solve this equation?: 1/3 + 3/4 + 4/6 = ?
So we need to find a common denominator, to know the rules for adding, division, multiplication to solve find the answer to the equation.
Our life is this way. Day by day we learn to grow. At the grocery store, or at the doctor’s waiting room, at a traffic crossing, meeting a neighbor or a child. God is walking by and placing equations in front of us to solve, like tests in school…
Do you still remember the satisfaction in solving a math problem? To reach a conclusion that was just like the teacher’s answer?
Or the happiness of had done well in a test?
That’s the way we feel in “life’s equations”. And the “common denominator” has to be the good sense. Why wanting to win all the time? Why not accept the loss and live with it?
So many times winning doesn’t bring as much satisfaction as loosing. Because through loosing we reach our inner most self. We feel stricken, sad, but suddenly we surface from the bottom, knowing a lot of things that we didn't know before.
The satisfaction may not be quick to come, but it will come with time.
After the crises, clarification will come and we’ll understand everything so well, like it was written right in front of us.
Things we think we “don’t deserve”, in truth, the merit make us find it. So we can grow spiritually.
When God takes away from our paths things that we assume are indispensable, He is showing us that we need to work to understand what is really dispensable.
I know that, with all of this, I appear to be a conformist. But I’m not. I’m always searching to understand all the messages God send us. To read through the facts. And sometimes I rebel also. But I always end up learning.
I’ve been asked before: “Are you always this happy?”. No, I’m not always happy. I try to convey to people the best of myself, and of everything I see. But, yes, I do have my sad and thouthful days. I have my deceptions and insecurities.
And I try to work hard on it.
And the essential is “the way” you deal with it.
And fore mostly, I learned something, that for me, is my motto:
"Leave a sign of joy where you pass" (Chico Xavier)
That’s the way I am and I try to always leave a smile…
(Besides, have you ever seen me serious in any picture?)
Mary Fioratti
